I was at the beach eating chocolate ice cream, when the sun turned to storm. I witnessed the whole shebang–rain, hail, thunder, and lightning.

Zeus descended from the clouds. “Dear civilians, and more specifically, the girl eating sundaes by the lake, I have descended to the earth to deliver a message from your mother.”

What? I knew Mom was on vacation in Florence, but still, why did she have to get a Greek god on duty to dispatch the grocery list?

“I know you were enjoying the sundae,” Zeus said, “but I have to inform you of something drastic. You might have assumed that your chocolate sundae was between 100 and 200 calories, but in actuality, it’s 250. Have a good day. Mom loves you.”