Lost in a Mall in Maine


I saw the cake. It could only mean one thing: Lena was home.

She cooks all the time and watches the Food Network, constantly baking delicious challah breads that few can resist. In fact, Lena is such a foodie that when we saw the movie, Chef, she recognized a real food trucker during the credits.

While Lena is still young (a few years out of college), she is wise. But she wasn’t always.

Back in the day, during middle-school-Halloween shopping, she got lost in our town’s one-story mall. She ran to the front desk and got two security guards to escort her while her mom shopped at Sears.

Now, you must understand, this mall is tiny. Here’s an example: no Forever 21. (I know.)

When Lena got lost, she was searching for flip flops for some exquisite costume. So why was she at Pretzel Time?

I think there’s a lesson in every story, or maybe I think that’s bullshit. But at least there’s a lesson here: Macy’s.



I Can Cry if I Want To


Last year was my first year of college, and I needed to insure that my birthday wouldn’t be a flop. I needed to know that I wouldn’t cry all alone in a corner.

So what did my mom do?

She put lots of money on my debit card, and I took some friends to an Indian restaurant, all expenses paid by me, or my mom. There. Instant friends. Instant birthday. Instant smile.

Now that sounds like a quick recipe for success, right? Wrong. There’s more to it.

One friend lied to me and somehow got me into her room thinking she needed to retrieve her computer before we headed to the library.

When we opened the door, there were a bunch of friends gathered, all singing, all with a card, all with a cake that they bought from the bistro.

Best birthday ever.