I was at the beach eating chocolate ice cream, when the sun turned to storm. I witnessed the whole shebang–rain, hail, thunder, and lightning.

Zeus descended from the clouds. “Dear civilians, and more specifically, the girl eating sundaes by the lake, I have descended to the earth to deliver a message from your mother.”

What? I knew Mom was on vacation in Florence, but still, why did she have to get a Greek god on duty to dispatch the grocery list?

“I know you were enjoying the sundae,” Zeus said, “but I have to inform you of something drastic. You might have assumed that your chocolate sundae was between 100 and 200 calories, but in actuality, it’s 250. Have a good day. Mom loves you.”



Beach Blues


Before we flee for the

Beach, we turn on the

AC, and the cat is


I want to play all

Day at the beach,

But I forgot my



Mom brought soup,

But no one eats it.

Too gross, too

Hot. So we eat

Hot dogs in the Beach

Parking lot while

Mother sets up lawn chairs.


We watch kiddos

In life jackets float

In the water.


We sit there in our

Chairs with beach books ’til

We change into our bikinis.


And then we realized,

We can’t swim:

We forgot to wax.