Reclaiming Loss Part II


Anger, vengeance, freedom, emancipation. Declaration. Should’a gotten a four on APUSH. Oh well, Teacher liked me.

I got new Beats! They are turquoise. They define me. They are me, hip but not a hipster.

College comes, and concert band rings. Concert band sings. Suave saxes sound and trombones glide—they slide. I shine, and I play, and I’m fine that way. It’s A-ok!

College comes and an A+ in music theory. Suck at piano lab. Can’t sight sing. But that’s all right. A+ for the rest!

Lost: faith in humanity. Regained: a niche, a place to feel loved and be loved. Some friends, even vegans.

Toms ate dry foods so he could poop. Good for his weakening bones. Calcium tastes yucky.

Lost: childhood. Gone, down the drain those days when you got a required nap. Miss those days. Miss finger painting and drawing, “relaxing all cool and shooting some b-ball outside of school when…”

Recess went bye-bye. No more naps. More class. Let’s add STEM. How ‘bout that? Oh, and that Writing Section of the SATs that I did well on, caput!

Systematic control freak. Theatre geek. Nap time.

I found myself! I got myself. $2.99 at the car wash. Diesel.

No, but really, I found myself! And I made a typo; I’m really $299 from the farmers’ market.

I’ve reclaimed myself.

Seasons change, an old cliché. People change, maybe true.

But we all need people.

There are people, people I argued with, blamed, and critiqued. These people have names: Mom, Dad, and Brother.

But there are more: Nana, Papa, aunts, uncles, and…this is getting boring. There are more, and I have love.

I need to love.

I was young. I am still young.

I was nervous. I am confident, or on my way.

I have new turquoise Beats, but I have no Toms. He was my blanket, but now I need a scarf.




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