Homer Simpson’s Dream

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Why is everything happening this weekend? Why do we have to jam-pack everything? I don’t know, but I kind of like it.

Here are some upcoming events for you lovely couch potatoes.

Orange is the New Black season 2 premieres on June 6th. That’s tomorrow. Same date as the premiere of The Fault in Our Stars. And who could forget the Tony Awards on Sunday?

I can. I love the Tonys. I try to watch every year, but I have priorities. And so does America. For example, does anyone even know who’s hosting?

Answer: Hugh Jackman.

Also, June 6th marks National Donut Day. Take it easy, pal.

Tips for the weekend: see The Fault in Our Stars, but not the premiere. See it on a Saturday, or even next week. The premiere will be packed with tweenagers, and they’re not my favorite age group. Are they anyone’s?

Next: watch an episode of Orange, but space it out. Only one episode a day, or else you’ll run out and get a case of the jail-time blues. Pretend Orange is a big bag of Doritos. One chip a day keeps the doctor away. But I’m guessing you’ll be eating Doritos as you binge-watch instead of oranges. Oh well, we’ve waited all year!

Finally, watch the Tonys. And if you’re in the East Coast, spoil the winner of Best Play for someone in Seattle.

Enjoy this weekend, and try to get some exercise.

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